It's sunny here. Sunny and cold but the weather cheers me up. I feel very happy this morning though my b/p'ing is still going on as bad as ever. And my work is going badly. And my friends aren't too happy with me. And although I am becoming increasingly closer to MM he is too shy and me too awkward for anything to ever happen. I just feel content this morning. It won't last, I'm not sure if it's even real.
Yesterday I went to the weekly committee meeting after a long day's hard work (of labs going horribly wrong and having to be redone a million times). And then to the pub and I was the most social, fun person there could have been, putting people at their ease and all, asking questions about their interests that I don't give a damn about. I am nice to so many people that I don't care about but I get nothing in return. And it makes me want to scream and shout. I want them to notice that I'm not okay. I want them to be kind and caring and look after me the way I do to them.
But not today, today the sun is out and I'm going to enjoy a few moments of inner peace (because I'm already contemplating missing my morning lectures to buy some binge food... but let's just ignore those feelings).
One day I am going to be so perfect. I'll be the girl you can love.
Anna
I hope the day only improves for you lovely!
ReplyDeleteTry and hold that peace and avoid the binge foods~~