I've been eating roughly 400-600 calories a day for the past week of mainly just fruit and veg and yet I'm only down 2 pounds to 124. Why is it so slow? Even if I was just losing water weight I should lose more than this at least at the beginning. I guess I haven't been getting much exercise but with exams and revision I just can't find the time. I hate this being so careful and getting no reward from it. It's as though I might as well binge it wouldn't make the slightest difference.
But I won't will I? I can't even put that thought in my head or the doubt will lead on to messing everything up for the millionth time. I'm going to a cafe later with some friends. I hope I don't just give in after coming this far. I know it has only been a week but for the last few months I've been binging and purging multiple times a day and I know if I only put a toe out of line they'll be no coming back from it. It's all or nothing, really.
Anna
Friday 14 January 2011
Sunday 9 January 2011
Uni and Goals
So I'm back at uni and stressing a lot about exams. But it snowed last night so hopefully I won't be tempted to go outside to the shops and buy binge food, which I usually would when stressed. I still have to get through meals in halls but I tend to have more control when people are watching me eat. I can't just go into a mad melt down and eat thousands of calories.
I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a month and I'm 126 lbs / 57.3 kg. I never thought I'd see a number like that on a scale again - I am freaking out - only two months ago I was 8 stone.
So my goals.. I never really know what to aim for. But as an estimate and I'll change as things change:
GW1: 120 (20/01/2011)
GW2: 115 (31/01/2011)
GW3: 110 (14/02/2011)
GW4: 105 (28/02/2011)
UGW: 90
And roughly around 600 calories a day?
Today so far I've eaten a peach and an apple ~ 91 calories.
Anna
I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a month and I'm 126 lbs / 57.3 kg. I never thought I'd see a number like that on a scale again - I am freaking out - only two months ago I was 8 stone.
So my goals.. I never really know what to aim for. But as an estimate and I'll change as things change:
GW1: 120 (20/01/2011)
GW2: 115 (31/01/2011)
GW3: 110 (14/02/2011)
GW4: 105 (28/02/2011)
UGW: 90
And roughly around 600 calories a day?
Today so far I've eaten a peach and an apple ~ 91 calories.
Anna
Friday 7 January 2011
2011
The main thing is that something needs to change and if a blog helps then so be it. I've spent years going round in circles: fasting, binging, purging and feeling rotten throughout. Everything was meant to change when I started uni last September but nothing did. But now with a new year begun I am ready to start fighting again. I am going to use this blog to stay on track. I'll be going back to uni in two days but until then I can't weigh myself (utterly frustrating being home). Once I know my weight I will set myself goals and post them here so that I can't mess up.
Anna
Anna
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