Apologies

I apologise for the total lack of posts. It's mostly because I've had exams and then went to Berlin for a week and then to cardiff for a few days to visit a friend from home who's at uni there. I felt the exams went awful but I got the results yesterday and I got what I needed to stay on the course. Of course I'm disappointed but I would be with anything less than 100%. Berlin was fantastic but I suddenly found myself spending 24/7 with four girls, who are great friends I've made since starting uni and this led to me having to eat quite a lot to keep them happy which then led to me starting to purge again. It feels so unreal as though what happens in the toilet is completely cut off from the rest of my life and doesn't affect it and the bubbly person they see isn't the same girl who bends over the toilet.

I got back from Berlin on Monday evening and then travelled down to cardiff the next morning. I went to visit my best friend and pretty much only friend that I ever liked from school. She's also bulimic but purges a lot less than I do these days. We know each other inside out but we're a toxic mix when together. Anyway we pretty much didn't eat until Thursday when we went to an all you can eat buffet for lunch and ate fuck loads and of course I threw up.

I got drunk a lot in cardiff and acted like a complete slut pulling four people one of which was 33 but not as you might imagine a complete sleazebag. I also fell over on the last night and my left arm has a huge bruise all the way along my lower arm. I also locked myself in the bathroom and cut my arm while drunk. Stupid thing to do.

Now I'm back at halls in university back in my b/p habits and too scared to weigh myself. My goals totally need to be rewritten as well. Thanks to those who are following its great to know people are reading this but don't expect too much motivation from me as I tend to fail everything.

Anna