It happens slowly then quickly. One minute you're just you. The next your home with your family and everyone is whispering about where all your fat has gone.'Is it time to worry yet?' They don't want to believe it is. Your mum gets angry because that's the only emotion she knows. She can't bare to look at you unless she's shouting. Meal times are agony and you're running out of inventive ideas of where to throw up afterwards. You still believe you can fool everyone.
It's horrible and all I want to do is go back to university where my housemates hate me and I'm failing but at least I could b/p in peace. It's really hard to continue pretending you're in control when it's taken away so suddenly and you realise you need it so much.
I miss JJ. And K. I just want to be hugged and never let go.
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